I hope everyone got that Taylor Swift reference… Well anyways, obviously there’s no way I can top my first post on this blog but I like to think I can try. My first post shared my journey to choosing life for my beautiful child and it may have seemed like it was all rainbows and sunshine in the end. Please don’t think that’s the case. It seems that nowadays I am being fed in the mouth with a fire hose of life lessons. That being said, in this post I would just like to share the main thing that the big Man upstairs has been teaching me: security.
In this life on earth, we all acquire such a false sense of security. We make these earthly things our prized possessions. For me, it was basketball, family, friends, my Christian college, and many materialistic items. This summer as my family faced many trials, my brother always said, “I’ve just learned to not get attached to anything.” As sad as it may seem, he’s right in a sense. A couple of months ago, I lost “everything”: my basketball career, my beloved Christian college, and my family became sort of broken up. Where was I supposed to turn? This is where the big Man upstairs came in.
Christ. Christ is our ONLY sense of security. He is the only one we can rely on. Everything on earth may fall apart but at least I know that I will be in heaven with him one day. Life throws some crazy things at us! Before I was pregnant I used to talk with my friends and say, “I can’t even imagine getting pregnant at this age and being a mom.” Ironic, right? And while at the time “I couldn’t even imagine,” now that I am living it I have no choice but to face it, make the best of it, and trust God. That’s life. Of course it’s not easy to visit my school and teammates now but I know that this is exactly where God wants me. Instead of dwelling on the past and wishing that I was still there, I look back and cherish each memory that I have. I am incredibly blessed to be where I am now and I absolutely look forward to being a mom. There is no gift more beautiful than that (other than my salvation, of course). Another event that happened recently renewed this perspective. A couple of weeks ago my brother and my family received the news of the passing of Brandon, my brother’s best friend. Brandon led my brother to Christ and held a special place in all of our hearts. We received this news out of the blue and it was/has been difficult for all of us, especially my brother, to swallow. However, knowing that Brandon is now united with Christ in heaven is a reason to rejoice and also a reminder that nothing on this earth is permanent. We all still think of Brandon daily and praise the Lord that we get to see him again one day.
Now I’ll get to the exciting news of my pregnancy. First thing’s first: IT’S A GIRL!!! I was going to be happy with either gender but I was secretly hoping for a girl. I’m also acquiring this ever-growing baby bump and right now it looks like I’ve gained some weight in my belly… some round weight… which most likely explains the funny looks that I get from classmates. My growing baby bump also seems to be some kind of museum exhibit that attracts the “belly-touchers.” I don’t mind when my close family and friends want to touch my baby belly but I don’t think that people realize that it’s still me that they’re touching… it makes for a very awkward situation. My baby girl likes to kick me when she’s awake, which happens to be in class when I’m trying to pay attention and when I’m trying to fall asleep at night but I wouldn’t trade that for the world. It is the most amazing feeling! My hormones are another story… which causes me to cry while watching TV. This includes Disney movies, some dumb reality shows, and commercials. I even cry sometimes (tears of joy) when I talk about my baby girl but I think that’s a mixture of newfound motherly instincts and the hormones.
Well that pretty much sums up what God has put on my heart for this post. Stay tuned for my next post! The countdown is now 122 days (Lord-willing) until Kendall Grace is introduced to the world! God bless!!