Pregnancy Brain

…is real. It makes me have short term memory loss and I tend to have a lot of brain farts, which is why I couldn’t come up with a creative title for this post. Oh well!

As I sit down to write this next blog post, there is an abundance of ideas that come to mind that I want to share with the world. I know that most people nowadays have the attention span of a peanut, so if I really want to grab the attention of people I have to confine my writing to just a few things! One topic that I simply cannot avoid is abortion. I covered this topic greatly in my first post but God has put some other key points on my heart to share.

I may have seemed a little fired up about abortion in my first post and that was because, well, I was. I stressed all of the negatives and alternatives to abortion but we also need to consider the many women on this earth that have had an abortion (or more than one). Like I stated previously, these women are already in emotional turmoil and shouldn’t be judged or scrutinized. God loves everyone: the thieves, murderers, adulterers, idolaters, liars, blasphemers, and so on. Yes, he is a just God who will judge us all on judgment day but He is gracious and gives us a second chance. If we confess our sins and repent, He will give us a clean slate and this is exactly what He does with women who have had an abortion. It frustrates me to see people voice their opinions about abortion in such a harsh manner, especially when they have never been in that situation. It seems clear on the outside that abortion is wrong, but it’s much easier said than done. Abortion is a very serious matter but we are called to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). This particularly frustrates me because I was there. I had an appointment to have the procedure done and I know exactly how these women feel. The fear of having a child and being a mother is indescribable. Thankfully, I have God to lean on and trust in these times but what about the women who don’t have faith? I can see why women make this decision out of fear and anxiety. It’s scary.

Men- don’t think you’re excluded from this topic of discussion. Let me remind everyone that it takes TWO people to conceive a child. Why is the mother being judged and ridiculed when it is equally the father’s responsibility? The mother is judged in both scenarios: having sex before marriage and having an abortion. But is the father ever considered? In many cases, the father tells the mother to have an abortion or just flees from the situation entirely. This absolutely sickens me and inspires me to make a difference in this world. I challenge all men out there to rise and take responsibility. It is equally your responsibility: parenting or choosing to have an abortion. Also, giving your girlfriend an ultimatum—telling her to choose between keeping the baby versus keeping your relationship—is unacceptable.

Just before writing this blog entry, I watched a very impacting video on YouTube that should be viewed by everyone! It is about 30 minutes long, but worth the time. It parallels the Holocaust and abortion. Here is the link: http://youtu.be/7y2KsU_dhwI.

I’ve had moments of spiritual refreshment in the past few weeks and I must share about one in particular. I keep a journal of my devotions each day and I write my prayers at the end of each one. For some reason, I felt like looking back on past devotions—specifically to the weeks before I found out I was pregnant. I could feel the emotions I felt back then as I read each one and couldn’t help but cry. I prayed for forgiveness over and over and prayed that God would prevent me from being pregnant. I thought I knew what was best for my life and I prayed for that instead of praying for His will. I worried every day and thought that being pregnant would ruin my life. God does in fact know what’s best for our lives but that being said, this journey has been the most difficult and most painful experience I have ever had. I prayed back in June that God would use me and reveal His purpose for me on this earth. If He showed me a preview of this journey I probably would have said, “Um, that doesn’t look fun. What are my other options, God?” Little did I know, God planned for this to also be the most rewarding and joyous experience I have ever had and I am so thankful for all that He has taught and shown me throughout this process. Romans 5:3-5 says, “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” I recommend to everyone to keep a journal; it’s amazing to be able to look at the growth that God does in our hearts.

Now for updates on my pregnancy- I am 28 weeks now and beginning my third trimester. Time flies! I’ve been craving french fries and buffalo wings—I bought a bottle of my favorite sauce from Buffalo Wild Wings and I put it on almost everything. And of course I eat all the time, but I was used to burning insane amounts of calories per day playing basketball and was hungry all the time back then. What can I say, I love food- who doesn’t? I’ve been busy taking classes, creating a baby registry, seeing the doctor (all the time, it feels like), and attending some of my team’s basketball games. It is difficult for me to watch sometimes because I could have been out on that court playing with them this year. Of course I miss the whole experience but I know that God has me right where He wants me. I am blessed to have been able to play college basketball for two years but now it’s time to be a mom and I can’t wait to see what God has in store for mine and Kendall’s lives. On the topic of Kendall- she is a little kick boxer! But I would also say she’s shy; she kicks me all day but when someone puts their hand on my belly to feel her, she stops! I can’t wait to meet my daughter. The countdown is now 86 days- double digits, people!!! Thanks for reading and for joining me on this crazy journey!

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